If Paula Abdul made 2% more sense when she says words, the world would have more time to realize that Randy Jackson has nothing to say.
In your heart, you know this is true.
Asher Roth’s “I Love College” is a Coed Naked Lacrosse t-shirt set to music.
If you disagree, you are wrong.
Not a single interesting thing has happened in hip-hop since 1994.
And you know this!
(PS: If you’re going to say “Eminem,” and many of you are, just listen to yourself.)
When your little girl is a robot, you can expect wild and funny things to happen.
Only a fool would deny it.
If Ant were a heterosexual, he would literally have nothing to say.
Truth!
The Oscars were actually sort of great this year.
I am as surprised as you are.
If you can’t remember to take a pill every day, then you shouldn’t have a baby.
It’s just a simple fact.
One day soon, we will discover that Miley Cyrus is a 38-year-old Chattanooga drag queen whose persona was modeled on the nosy neighbor from “Reba.”
There is no getting around this!
From this week forward, when you can’t get people to come to your improv show, “Norman Gentle” is the reason why.
It is a FACT.
“Hi! I’ve taken the greatest technological and cultural advance in human history and used it to draw semen on pictures of Haylie Duff.”
There is no excuse for Perez Hilton.
This has been fact-checked, and is 100% true.
